FILED UNDER: GENERAL DISGRUNTLEMENT✦SPONSORED BY NO ONE. FUNDED BY NOTHING.✦HQ: WHEREVER THE WIFI WORKS✦NOW ACCEPTING RANTS, RETWEETS, AND RESENTMENT✦PARTY LAUNCH · VOLUME 1✦FIVE DEMANDS. ZERO SPONSORS. ONE LARGE, STUBBORN SWARM.✦WE DIDN'T CHOOSE THE COCKROACH LIFE. THE COCKROACH LIFE CHOSE US.✦OFFICIAL MOTTO: IF IT SURVIVES, WE SURVIVE.✦FILED UNDER: GENERAL DISGRUNTLEMENT✦SPONSORED BY NO ONE. FUNDED BY NOTHING.✦HQ: WHEREVER THE WIFI WORKS✦NOW ACCEPTING RANTS, RETWEETS, AND RESENTMENT✦PARTY LAUNCH · VOLUME 1✦FIVE DEMANDS. ZERO SPONSORS. ONE LARGE, STUBBORN SWARM.✦WE DIDN'T CHOOSE THE COCKROACH LIFE. THE COCKROACH LIFE CHOSE US.✦OFFICIAL MOTTO: IF IT SURVIVES, WE SURVIVE.✦

Party Launch · Live Since Yesterday

Voice oftheLazy &Unemployed.

A political party for the people the system forgot to count. Five demands. Zero sponsors. One large, stubborn swarm.

Join the Party →Sack the Education MinisterFILE THE PETITION! →

5Demands

0Corporate Donors

Patience

1Founder, No PA

Progress✦You Cannot Squash A Movement✦Together We Survive✦Progress✦You Cannot Squash A Movement✦Together We Survive✦Progress✦You Cannot Squash A Movement✦Together We Survive✦Progress✦You Cannot Squash A Movement✦Together We Survive✦Progress✦You Cannot Squash A Movement✦Together We Survive✦Progress✦You Cannot Squash A Movement✦Together We Survive✦Progress✦You Cannot Squash A Movement✦Together We Survive✦Progress✦You Cannot Squash A Movement✦Together We Survive✦

Chapter One

Our Movement'sVision.

We are not here to set up another PM CARES, holiday in Davos on the taxpayer's salary slip, or rebrand corruption as "strategic spending." We are here to ask — loudly, repeatedly, in writing — where the money went.

Our Mission

Build a party for the young people who keep getting called lazy, chronically online, and — most recently — cockroaches. That's it. That's the mission. The rest is satire.

THE FIVE DEMANDS

The Manifesto.

Read it once. Read it twice. Then send it to someone who needs to read it.

If the CJP comes in power, no Chief Justice shall be granted a Rajya Sabha seat as a post-retirement reward.

Strict implementation of accountability measures across all tiers of the judiciary to prevent backlogs.

Women shall receive 50% reservation, not 33%, without increasing the strength of Parliament. Additionally, 50% of all Cabinet positions shall be reserved for women.

All media houses owned by Ambani and Adani shall have their licences cancelled to make way for truly independent media. Bank accounts of Godi media anchors shall be investigated.

Any MLA or MP who defects from one party to another shall be barred from contesting elections — and from holding any public office — for a period of 20 years.

MEMBERSHIP

Are you eligible
to join?

We do not check religion, caste, or gender. We do, however, have four (4) standards.

REQ / 01

Unemployed

By force, by choice, or by principle. We don't ask.

REQ / 02

Lazy

Physically only. The brain may continue to spiral.

REQ / 03

Chronically online

Minimum 11 hours a day, including bathroom breaks.

REQ / 04

Can rant professionally

As long as the content is sharp, honest, and points at something that actually matters.

JOIN THE PARTY →